I Spent $100,000 Following Everyone Else's Advice. Here's What Finally Worked.

I tried every personal development approach available - and it all helped. But the one thing almost all of it missed changed everything. ↓

I spent most of my life following other people's rules for my own life.

Up until my early thirties, I was largely following societal expectations, doing what I thought I should do. Despite enjoying outward facing success, it left me feeling burned out, depressed and anxious, with an addiction to drugs and alcohol to boot.

The many rock bottom moments I experienced as a result became the launch pad I needed to finding another way forward, and I went on the search for teachers, people who I thought, upon visible success, had life figured out.

THE SEARCH

I learned from the best: personal development guru's like Brendon Burchard, Robin Sharma and Tony Robbins; Spiritual Guides like Eckhart Tolle, Neale Donald Walsch, Dr. Joe Dispenza and Abraham Hicks; and even some people that seemed to combine the two perfectly, Preston Smiles and Alexi Panos being two of many fantastic leaders in this space.

I've read countless books, completed courses and workshops, hired coaches, attended retreats. I've sat with plant medicines, tried numerous alternative therapies/modalities, tried incredibly woo-woo but highly effective spiritual/energy work, spent hundreds of hours in meditation, and followed the guidance given from all of these aforementioned humans, along with the guidance given from many others.

I've easily spent over $100,000 on my personal development and healing alone and I can't even begin to imagine how many hours I've put in towards it all.

Yet, despite all of this 'inner work', as many people would call it, I regularly found myself in a space where I felt lost, alone, and wondering if there really was something inherently wrong with me. I wasn't happy.

Sure, I would have moments of pure elation, in what others call a flow state, presence or connection to Source/God, but there were mirrored by the depths of struggle, and feeling like all this work was done for nothing. The inner work had indeed made a massive impact on my life, but I wasn't, on any account, feeling healed. I wasn't at peace, my mind still running on overdrive.

LETTING GO

I decided then and there to let it all go for a while. That is, stop the healing journey, stop trying to fix myself, stop trying to learn '10 simple ways to get x'. I stopped reading books, stopped doing workshops, bailed out of coaching containers and just let myself actually be. I was occasionally even drinking and taking recreational drugs, but this was something I could easily say no to, choosing if and when I wanted to enjoy these parts of life, as they were now the exception rather than the norm.

During this time, I also devoured every English speaking episode of Ru Paul's Drag Race (and it's spinoffs!), all of which echoed a recurring message: 'just have fun with it'. A message that hadn't been too prominent through my healing journey, but one that later led to a profound shift.

Healing in many aspects, as well as almost the entire personal development industry, misses this vital point. In fact, most of the advice that comes from the latter encourages to use force as a way of changing one's life. And that approach is beneficial.

Yet, changing one's life using force is not the complete answer.

THE BREAKTHROUGH

I discovered an eternal truth during one of my biggest breakthrough moments.

This particular breakthrough moment marked the end of the internal struggle I'd been facing since my early teenage years. The war in mind stopped. I was, at last, at peace. No more chasing, no more searching, just pure joy for being alive.

This moment did not come from a book, a course or even an Ayahuasca ceremony. It came from me realizing that every single teacher had shared important advice/wisdom that was relevant in helping them. So yes, I could follow their roadmap and experience similar results.

However, if that roadmap required me to go against my natural instinct and my own desires for the kind of journey I wanted to have, then I could get results, but I would be forcing my way through life, resulting in a life that felt like obligation rather than joy.

My life then wouldn't be a joyous expression of who I am, it would be a joyous reflection of who they are. And my life and someone's else life, whilst there may be many similarities, are not the same. It was then I stumbled across the eternal truth: we all have different desires, different things we love, different things we enjoy doing, so every person's roadmap for their life must be unique if that person wants to be truly happy with themselves and their life.

Results matter, to an extent. But ever seen a depressed person with loads of money? A person with a six pack but extremely self conscious? A person who retired early but feels lost? The things we are taught to chase, things like fame, fortune and a good body, mean almost nothing if a person isn't happy with who they are and what they are doing in order to obtain such results.

Yes, a person can get results following someone else's guidance, that is not in question. What is in question is how happy that person is during the journey. What is in question is if they became someone they truly wanted to be, or just a cookie cutter version of the person they were learning from.

I realized that I had been following other people's guidance for most of my life and subtly ignoring my own. It eventually dawned on me that I had been following other people's guidance for so long that I couldn't tell the difference between what guidance was mine and what was theirs! Talk about conflict.

The peace I was enjoying came to an end and a new challenge emerged: sift and sort through the years of inner work and countless practices, strategies and methodologies and find what actually worked for me. What did I find most joyous, most helpful? What brought me meaning? What fell into the category of this is what I love more than anything else in the world?

Leveraging the menu of modalities I had been exploring for years, and trying each one on for size. I took action action, but doing it in my own way. I even started ignoring some of the well-meaning, highly beneficial advice I had learned over the years, in favour of doing it the way that I wanted to do it.

Happiness surged, higher than ever. I felt a deeper peace with who I was and what I was doing in the world. Clear on my direction, and clear that my journey was indeed taking me into an even better version of who I wanted to become. Results occurring naturally. Waking up every day excited for what's in store. Life finally had my own signature.

It was here I understood the real purpose of life: just have fun with it.

But where wasn't I having fun? Where was I doing things out of force rather than flow? I explored every aspect of my life, but one stood out more than the others.

THE RECKONING

My work as a coach/mentor felt heavy. Using my own name as my brand, having a very tight niche market based on a population group, having one specific thing that I spoke about... It all just felt... off. Forced. I wasn't enjoying it all.

The journey served it's purpose, but my inner voice and my own deepest desires knew that for me to do what I wanted to do in the world, I needed to ditch representing myself as a coach and start something bigger. I needed to go against the grain, stop trying to fit myself into a fucking box for success, and have the courage to do what I wanted to do all along.

I desired to create a brand that was bigger than me, providing an opportunity for collaboration and expansion, something that could live on for generations to come, with a single focus: happiness.

So I created saltspace.

The name stems from my love of the ocean and the role it's played in my life, encouraging both healing and happiness.

salt: a natural compound that purifies and heals. Salt in a wound is uncomfortable. I think of it as the truth that stings a little, drawing out what doesn't belong and keeping what's true, accelerating the healing process.

space: the place in which everything exists. I see it as the opportunity to read, think, and be honest with yourself. It's the stillness and emptiness required for us to clear out what's no longer aligned, making room for what is.

saltspace stands on the shoulders of every teacher, guide and tradition that came before it. The wisdom shared by the greatest minds in personal development and spirituality is real, and the tools, practices and approaches they offer are genuinely valuable.

Yet, I discovered that strategies stop being helpful when you've lost sight of your own internal compass. When you're following blindly and joy is no longer in the driver's seat. When force, not flow, has become the engine driving your life, that’s when it’s time to go inward.

That's why saltspace exists. Not to simply give you another roadmap or another method, rather to provide you the space and support to find, and curate, your own unique approach to life, as well as develop the trust that your inner voice is guiding you towards the life you've been looking for all along.

You are who you've been looking for.
saltspace helps you find yourself again.

Adam