Feeling lost, stuck and unsure what's next? Use these six simple practices to get mentally clear and back to feeling yourself.
I sent a rather vulnerable email out to all my subscribers this morning.
It detailed the experience I’ve been in since the saltspace launch event on August 20.
That experience was a war going on within myself: part of me saying keep going, the other saying slow down.
And it made me realize that many people have the same experience, so I promised to share how you can get yourself back if you’re feeling a little lost or confused about what’s next.
This is the process I use to feel mentally clear, focused and excited about what’s next, and it’s beneficial for everybody, no matter what’s going on in life because it’s based in joy and what comes naturally to us as humans.
This isn’t all that different from my regular life, however the deeper state of disconnection I was experiencing required a deeper space of exploration.
Think of it like a pool that hasn’t been filled up all summer VS a pool that was filled up just last week.
One of them is going to require much more water!
In my case, the forceful approach I was using for close to six weeks in the lead up to the saltspace launch emptied my pool, so to speak, so it required more than what I usually do in each of these areas.
To get the most out of this, I recommend that you focus on the area that you’ve either been avoiding or never truly explored, and do that first.
HOW TO GET YOURSELF BACK
MOVEMENT: Move your body in a way that feels good for you for 30+ min, every day.
For me, at this point of my life, I am being drawn to Yoga, weights on occasion and riding a bike. Five years ago it was H.I.I.T. sessions and intense weight sessions.
That was good for me then, this is what is good for me now.
I invite you to explore what you’re naturally drawn towards in this moment, because as good as your solo gym routine or treadmill training might be now, perhaps there’s a part of you craving being outdoors, or group classes, or even playing a sport.
Listen to that.
STILLNESS: Make time for you to sit still for 10-20 minutes every day.
Ever tried to smooth out water with your hand? It doesn’t work, right? That’s because for water to settle it has to be left alone.
Your mind works in exactly the same way.
Your phone, your email alerts, your text messages, smart watch, your TV… All of this is a barrage of information that gets your mind active. Your job in these 10-20 minutes is to get rid of the noise so your mind can slow itself down.
Yes, it takes practise, but in today’s world, if you don’t take this time out for yourself daily, your mind will be a mess, or you’ll be spending more time on social media than you’d like, or you’ll be addicted to vaping, or smoking, or drinking… Essentially there will be any number of habits in your life that you love but simultaneously want to change.
You must learn to let your mind settle.
Sit and breathe. That’s it.
EXPRESSION: Write out or share what you’re thinking, feeling and experiencing.
You don’t have to share this with anyone. Sometimes it’s actually better when you don’t, because then you can be unfiltered. But write it out or speak it out into a voice memo if that’s easier.
If you feel comfortable speaking to a friend or therapist about it, great, but this primarily for you and you alone, and you can get rid of it later if you so desire.
This works because it gets everything out of your head. When it’s out it’s no longer consuming you, and you get a new perspective on everything.
ENVIRONMENT: Go somewhere that makes you come alive.
For me, this is the ocean, (I swim daily) and local parks. But, when the ocean is wild and raging, as she has been for the last couple of months, I crave still water, so I go to Tallebudgera Creek or further down the coast.
This is going to be different for everybody, so I can’t say what place is or isn’t right for you. What is important is that you listen to your inner voice. You’re being drawn towards a place. It could be a specific park, a cafe, or maybe even a different city.
Follow that.
CONNECTION: Spend time with people you love.
The connection time with your friends in this context is for fun and for just enjoying life. Talk about anything, everything, anything that’s not weighing you down. Be silly, be child like, do shit you’ve wanted to do but never done.
Watch a movie, play a game, do something that reminds you that joy can be had no matter what’s going on.
N.B. I try not to talk about my personal stuff too much with friends, namely because they’re not my therapist, and also because they’re not a therapist! Yes, I still do share a little bit, but I’m not dumping all my stuff on them all the time, or even my partner. That’s not their role.
Sometimes, a friend and a good fucking venting session is exactly what you need. However, I highly encourage you to find separation between your friends and who is there to help you pick up the pieces and get you back on track. Do it once or or twice with a friend or partner is fine, but if you’re making them carry the whole thing with you, that’s taking your friendship or relationship and putting them in a completely different role.
Use your own discretion here.
PLAY: Do things you love to do simply because you love to do it.
I have a myriad of things, but it changes depending on the day.
Sometimes, I just DJ at home, in my headphones, no recording or set planning required. Other times it’s cooking. I also love Pinball, Yoga, Beach Trips… I’m also really into sustainable home design right now, and so sitting down with a cuppa and a magazine is oh so enjoyable.
What is that for you? Is there anything you’ve been wanting to do for ages but haven’t done? That might give you some clues as to what is perfect for you right now.
Just make sure you pick whatever feels most exciting.
These six practises will help you come back to yourself.
Notice how they’re not specific.
Like, I’m not telling you to run 10km, but I am being general and asking you to do what you love in each of these areas.
What you’re not trying to do right now is get a result.
You’re not trying to map out your next chapter, set new goals or even develop a new strategy. Not yet.
You want to get yourself back first.
Get your mind clear and then all of that will be created with so much ease.
